Blog 6: My Identity Kit

If you have seen how I behave in class, then you would have realized that I am pretty shy. At least around people I don't know or am not comfortable with. I consider myself an introvert. I rarely ever talk in class unless I am being called on. Although I pay attention in class and often have things I want to share, I only say it in my head because I am too shy to share my feelings. There's something about raising my hand that is just really difficult for me. Sometimes I’ll raise my hand, and then chicken out and pretend I’m actually only scratching my head or stretching.

Likewise, speaking in public is also very uncomfortable for me. I remember in 7th grade when I gave my first ever in-class presentation on my own, I was so ridiculously scared that my hands started trembling intensely. So intensely that I tried to get my hands to stop shaking by telling them to stop shaking in front of the whole class. It didn't work, unfortunately, and my friends enjoyed making fun of me for that presentation for the longest time. 

As you can see, I don't interact well with strangers. I am an introvert. However, I was a salesperson as my last job. If you look up the description of a salesperson, some of the things you will see are: extroverts, outgoing, and confident. Pretty much everything I am not. However, I was very good at my job. I excelled, actually. Within one month of employment, I became one of the top five salespeople in the Southern California region in my department. 

How did I do so well when the type of person I identify myself as is the complete opposite of a salesperson? I realize now that it was because I was good at mushfaking. I acquired the identity kit of a salesperson, “which comes complete with appropriate costume and instructions on how to act, talk, an often write, so as to take on a particular role that others will recognize" (119).

During my job, I was not the shy Ngoc that some people may see me as. I interacted with over 100 customers during each shift. I approached people first. I was the person that initiated the conversations and kept them going by exuding an outgoing personality. I went up to complete strangers and engaged in conversations about practically anything and everything. These are things I don’t do at school. These were things I only did at my job.

Why did I do this? It was because I knew I needed to act this way, talk this way, and dress this way in order to succeed as a salesperson. I needed my identity kit to be able to do the things I would otherwise have not done. It was the only way I was going to be able to do well at my job. Without this identity kit, I would have probably done horribly and gotten fired or quit my job.

In a way, my identity kit as a salesperson has influenced who I am outside of my work environment. I am still shy, and far from being an extrovert or the type of person I am at work. However, I have become more outgoing. I sometimes raise my hand to share in class now. I am also less nervous during presentations. I am not as awkward when talking to people. I am more comfortable talking to strangers. I would not say that my mushfaking turned into the real thing, but it did affect me and change me into who I am today.